Location: Pizza Express - 56 Peter Street - Manchester
At first i was hessitant. Unable to see any form of sign for the toilets from my possition in the restaurant and being an english male goose, refused to inquire as to their whereabouts. I decided to risk burst kiddneys in exchange for false shame.
I enjoyed a good meal, both visually and on the pallet and managed to sink a sneeky ale along side it. The waiter was taking his time with the bill, where as i was ready to give him good poke with mine.
Mother goose decided enough was enough, and waddled over to the desk to pay.
when interigated as to why the waiter had been so long he replied “we just got these new candles in and i got a tad distracted”. A dire excuse at best, but still nice to see a young chap interested in the art and manufacturing of wax.
We turned to leave when i saw the silhouettes of a lady and gentleman. I had a feeling i needed to investigate the state of these lavatories, and by jove how glad i am that i did.
Untouched, pristine, virginal if you will, as if the whole toilet had been lamanated.
And the smell! oh the smell! It took me back to those summer days drifting carelessly along the pond, occasionally going for a walk and whiffing the marigolds.
To keep with the good nature of this relief area, i decided to treat my self and wash my wings, but nothing had prepared me for what was next…..
For those of you that don’t know this, THIS my feathered friends, is the Dyson Airblade. A revolution in restroom hygiene. simply place your hands or wings in and out a couple of times and BAM! your outta there feelin’ superdry; which i have heard to believe is the name for the promotional song performed by curtis mayfield himself.
This was truely a wee to remember.
In summary,
DON’T INSTALL OR USE NEAR VAST AMOUNTS OF WATER!
This could cause a drought of epic proportions, and would instantly wipe out all fish, amphibians and waterfowl.
For this reason i give..
4/5 quacks
L’oie x
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